Sometimes I wonder if employees really know what their bosses are thinking. Being a boss myself for over 15 years, I have heard a zillion excuses for everything work related, and I certainly have my own thoughts and opinions about what is really going on. I do try to be somewhat empathetic and I am quite patient, but sometimes I can’t help but think certain things when I hear what sound like lame excuses. So, I thought it’d be entertaining to write about some of the standard excuses bosses hear from their employees, and what the bosses are really thinking.
When an employee calls in sick, especially after a long weekend, the boss says, “hope you feel better tomorrow”, but really thinks, “Ya right, hung over? You better show up tomorrow”. When the employee says, “I am stuck in traffic, got a flat tire, car wouldn’t start”, the boss says, “OK, hurry up”, but means, “Ugh, woke up late again? Get your act together and get in here.” How about when the employee says, “I’ve got a doctor’s appointment” or even worse, “I got into a car accident”, both synonymous with “I am going for an interview today”. Or how about when the employee says they “don’t have enough time to do their job and need overtime”. Ok, sometimes that can be true, as some workplaces are swamped. But, often the employees have taken extensive breaks, checking personal emails, texting, and updating their Facebook statuses all during work hours, then complain about not having enough time!
Bosses get really good at seeing through lies and excuses. Yes, sometimes you really do have a doctor’s appointment, get into a car accident, or catch the flu over a long weekend, but more often than not, these are used as excuses and bosses aren’t buying it.
I have written many articles on how to ask for a raise, but when the employee says, “I need a raise”, the boss is thinking, “What are you doing that deserves a raise? Tell me, show me, and prove to me why you’ve earned a raise.” But the boss may say, “Let me look at the budget”. And of course, my favourite employee conversation is , “I quit” says the employee, leading the boss to think one of a few things, either “I knew it”, “Thank goodness”, or “Oh man, I just spent a fortune on training you, paying out your benefits, or giving you bonuses”, but instead will say, “I wish you the very best”!
Of course, there are also more positive conversations that take place between employees and bosses, so let’s end with a couple of those. When the employee says, “I can do that for you”, the boss is thinking, “Really? You can? Awesome, I will be very happy if you do successfully take this off my plate.” Or even better, when the employee says, “I love my job”, sincerely not sarcastically, the boss thinks, “Really? Phew! I hate hiring”.
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