Dealing with issues at home and in the workplace

Many people generalize about women and how they gossip or get emotional about trivial things. Personally, I know more men than women who gossip, and I know as many men who get just as emotional as women.

When issues arise at home or at work, it is best to address them directly rather than gossip, as long as work issues are dealt with professionally. At home issues are heartfelt and attached, and sometimes handled off the cuff.

At work, there are general rules for dealing with issues or situations, whereas at home every household has different family approaches. If there is a problem at work, an employee must not gossip about it first, or bring in other co-workers for their opinions. At home, issues seem to fly through the family tree faster than light. Sometimes it might feel better to rally the troops, but that is very unprofessional and always backfires at work.

Just like family meetings are called around the kitchen table, at work, a meeting is to be booked with the boss. The boss needs to be available, not distracted, therefore booking an appropriate time to talk is best. A parent should take the same approach with a child or teen, letting everyone know that there is an issue that needs to be discussed and at a set time. It is normal to be nervous when talking about something personal or important, but the air does need to be cleared so that people can move on. An employee, male or female, needs to get their ducks in a row before the meeting, write notes, be logical, not emotional, even if it is an emotional topic. At home, where everyone is emotional about everything, notes would help but are rarely used.

When formally discussing a problem or issue, it is important to be clear, state points, state why, and offer solutions to the problem; the employee should not carry on about all the past issues and get off track. At home, that program could work, but usually parents remember every single thing a kid has done since birth and may continue to bring up these things for a lifetime. People will talk about what bothers them, whether it has to do with family, friends, co-workers, bosses, or neighbours. Gossip will be sure to follow if issues at work are not laid to rest with some type of resolution.

Of course, if issues continue to no avail, employees can always get another job. At home, back issues often only come to rest when individuals have kids of their own!

Workplace Hoarders

A week or so ago, I was watching that new show “Hoarders” on A&E and it got me thinking. Being the workplace analyzer that I am, it crossed my mind that some employees really hoard information. The logical reason for this would be for confidentiality reasons. But beyond confidentiality, I think some employees think that if only they know the information, then they are irreplaceable to the company.

Feelings of security come in all forms and people have different psychological reasons for hoarding, regardless if they are hoarding information or a bunch of junk. But to be truly valuable to a company, an employee needs to make sure that their job will be covered if for any reason they are not able to make it in for work. Procedures and passwords need to be accessible in case of an emergency. Will someone else be able to step in and do the job, if an employee calls in sick or has a family emergency?

Security comes with trust, and if a boss trusts without a doubt in an employee, the employee will be more secure in their position. Sometimes trust comes naturally with time, or with ability or skill. Knowledge is valuable in any workplace as well, and perhaps no one else can offer the same information, but sharing knowledge is much more empowering than hoarding it.

If insecurity is at the root of hoarding, then offering valuable information to others should give the feeling of confidence, and as a result, more security. Working with a conscience and being aware of what is going on around you, with other people at work, with customers, with the environment, and with the future, all makes for a more valuable employee.

So many people are oblivious to their surroundings, to other people’s feelings, to appearances, to ethics, and so on, so being aware is a rare and needed trait in an employee. One of the issues with hoarders is that the afflicted individuals don’t take the initiative to get help! The most valuable employees do take initiative, offer new ideas, help co-workers out, and readily offer assistance to others. The best employees also know when they need to ask for help from their boss or co-workers.

Hoarding information at work is bad practice, and it does not make an employee more valuable, instead it makes them less valuable. Organizing and planning, helping and caring, trusting and sharing, these are the truly valuable employee traits that will create security at work.

Workplace Friendships

The number one workplace requirement we hear from job seekers is a good team environment with the opportunity to work with great co-workers. Job seekers rarely cite money as the top reason for taking a job. Instead, wanting to work with fun and skilled co-workers, people they can sit with at lunch and shoot the breeze with, is the most requested and most desired reason for taking a job.

In the potentially isolated and technology based world that we live in today, employees are increasingly finding that their entire social network is work related. Work can be a fantastic place to meet best friends, and maybe even a mate if the stars are aligned.

But co-workers still need to be cautious and aware of normal workplace occurrences. Various situations naturally arise at work because it is work, not leisure activity time. Some people are competitive and others are supportive, some employees are technical and others are creative, some are introverted while others are extroverted. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around and the same rides true for businesses. Inherently, employees will do what works for them first, thinking of teammates second. Sometimes competition may arise for a promotion, to save the job, get a bonus, or win a contest at work. Sometimes friends may cover each others’ butts or over protect each other for fear of losing the friend or their friend’s job.

Every clique is different, every team is unique, and every person is an individual, but workplace circumstances seem to be fairly common. Most workplaces have turnover. Let’s face it, jobs and employees don’t last forever. Employees move, get pregnant, get sick, get bored, get mad, get better offers, get laid off, or move along some other way in the turnover world. When deep intimate relationships form at work, it may keep employees happier and longer than a usual term. But along the same line, when one person leaves the workplace, regardless of the reason, feelings of abandonment, isolation, and sadness can arise amongst the remaining employees. Co-workers may go through some deep emotional challenges when friendships are forced to change, even if only physically.

The 2009 layoffs affected the emotional well being of friendly teammates far more than the financial hits. Employees should be aware that the workplace is an environment where friendships are possible and hopeful, and the social aspects of work are available. However, work still needs to be a place to earn a living, increase skill level, and make connections. Employees coming and going is a natural part of business. Even if it is not a comfortable part of living, it is evolutionary and usually necessary. Be thankful for change and growth in the workplace, and the relationships developed along the way.

What makes you happy?

Last week, I was thinking about the feeling of sunshine on my face during spring and how great that feels, and that led me to think of all the things that make me happy. As I created my “happy list”, I decided to share that concept with my employees, asking them to create their list of the top five things that make them happy. Of course, they needed clarification on that memo. They asked me, the boss, if I meant just at work or in their personal lives? That made me happy, to think that my employees cared enough about this assignment to ask for clarity, too funny.

There are lists we can create about what makes us happy at work, at home, and in life in general. When we look at those lists, if they were easy to create, then we are doing OK. If we have a tough time thinking of things that make us happy, then we should be thinking of what can we do differently.

Last year was tough, I am happy 2009 is over. Now that we are working on recovery, it will be easier to work on being happier. My assignment for all readers is to create a list of the top five things that make you happy at work, and if it is too difficult then you will have more work to do to figure out why and what you can do about it. Once you’ve completed your workplace “happy list”, move on to your personal life “happy list”. And once completed, wow, what a great feeling!

I think these lists should be used as a daily guide. I believe that if it is in writing, it will come true. And if you are consciously thinking about your lists, you will bring more of that happiness into your life.

Create your lists, share with the family, talk about what makes you happy and start bringing more of it into your life!